I don't trust my husband with this girl! Advice Needed, Mature Answers?

I am 29 and married my husband 3yrs ago after 4 years of dating and i am so happy, my husband is 30.He has known this certain girl for 18yrs and she is 26 and is also now my friend but i feel very intimidated by her, they have a load of mutual friends, she is so beautiful looking and almost all my husbands friends say they have a thing for her. I've always got little hints that he had feelings for her when we dated. My husband confessed to me 2 weeks ago that they dated in her teens and that he was her first sexual partner, but she wanted to keep their relationship quiet, but she broke up with him to travel the world. She has moved back %26amp; i catch my him staring at her, its like he is over the moon shes back. When i talk about her he gets very aggravated about it, starts a fight %26amp; the other day when he was drinking i asked him if he wanted her, he told me it hurt like hell when she left him and he missed her like crazy. My MIL adores her and she is such a outgoing person. My husband never lets anyone bad mouth her. If she is dancing with family or friends at a get together my husband just stands or sits there watching her and always has a certain look %26amp; smile in his eye just for her that i never see when he looks at anyone else,she can be flirty at times and had a flirty smile %26amp; was looking at him while dancing. He barely touches me anymore, when his friend asked him what he wanted for his 30th he 'joked' he wanted a marriage and non stop sex session with her. When we all went out for dinner she was in a short dress %26amp; i was surprised my hubby could control himself, he kept smiling at her and walking next to her, when she would walk past he would check out her ***, then 'joking' he lifted her over his shoulder and ran off. When we had sex that night i was convinced he was thinking about her. She's nice to me which makes it hard for me to really hate her. My hubby got very drunk over the weekend and i overheard him say to his friends that 'he may get a divorce',then i heard his best friend say to him that my hubby genuinely wants to be with his ex. Any advice on how i deal with this?I don't trust my husband with this girl! Advice Needed, Mature Answers?
I am so sorry for you. It sounds like you are in a really horrible spot. The only advice I could possible give you is to try to talk with him openly about it. If he really wants to get a divorce then you can only try to accept it, it sounds like he is really being disrespectful to you and your marriage. You could easily find someone who will treat you right.





I hope it all works out for you and you deserve better.I don't trust my husband with this girl! Advice Needed, Mature Answers?
There's nothing you can do about this except lay down the law to him: either shut up about her, at least *pretend* like you're over her, and focus on your marriage, or, file for divorce. Inform him in no uncertain terms that his behavior is inappropriate for a married man, and that if he wants to be married, he needs to act like it, and if he doesn't want to be married to you, he needs to divorce you. If you want to be nice, tell him he has three days to make that decision. And be sure to give him this choice when he is stone cold sober!
Honestly, talk to him about it. If he doesn't want to continue your marriage then nothing is going to warp his mind back. You say you love him, so you want him to be happy. TALK TO HIM. Your marriage is built around trust and communication. If you don't feel safe leaving them alone... Tell him. See what he says. Always try to work it out before even thinking about divorce. Many people run at the first sign of trouble, stick in there and try your best. Most of all, remember you love him.
Thats rough,





I hate to say it sounds like he really wants to be with her. You shouldnt have to spend time wondering about this, you should confront him. If he wants to stay with you then you should both definitely go to counseling.





Im a bitter person, so if it was me, I would leave him first. Find some hot little dude, spend all your husbands money, burn his house down. catch him cheating and get everything in the divorce.


But you prolly shouldnt do what i would do.
You may not have a choice in the matter. I would hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Start getting yourself independent. This doesn't sound good for you at all...
All the things that you think he was ';jokingly'; saying were probably not jokes and he really meant them. Also, when he tells you these things when he is drunk - your true feelings come out when you are drunk...Apparently your husband is pushing you aside and has her on his mind. And if you over-heard him saying that he wanted a divorce did you say anything to him? It sounds like you have communication problems and I think that you need to be honest with him and let him know how you are feeling and what your concerns are. he has told you that he missed her well she is back now and maybe his old feelings are coming up again. Point is don't be a push-over and let all this happen right in front of your face and to not dislike her? If she is intentionally flirting with him in front of you - I think she is stepping on toes and shows disrespect towards you...
That is a brazen insult to you. Now you should be getting angry, certainly don't up with this.





You heard him say he may get a divorce? What people say when they are drunk is not dependable but you have a right to find out where you stand. Tackle him with that comment. If the answer is that he doesn't want to be married anymore, you are not going to change his mind, but at least you will have it to your face rather than finding them sneaking around behind your back.





Why are you being friendly with his ex-tart? Tell her you want her to stop flirting with your husband - ';tip her off'; that everyone is talking about her for looking obvious and ';available';. Be very assertive and don't smile or dress it up in nice girly words.





Your mother in law is not helping - it's worrying that she is not defending your marriage and that suggests she is not on your side. It's a shame that she is not showing you support when you need it.
Yeah, I would ';tip her off'; that ALL the men in that circle think she's easy. That SOME OF THEM allude/brag to ALL OF THEM that they've ';had'; her. But *you* know that's not true!! (pretend to be on her side). Nicely suggest to her that she might want to dress VERY conservatively and tone down the makeup for the next year or so to ';shake this off';. In fact, suggest, that she should steer clear of them all!! Later, if she shows up at a party, hand her a frumpy sweater and wink.





In the meantime, be very ';busy'; with your husband, and ALWAYS have back up plans on the calendar for when they call to all get together. At least arrive super late or leave super early so your husband has only fifteen minutes of seeing her. (by now she's frumpy after the talk).





Also, dress HOT when you go out with him/them. Get your hair and nails done a lot.





When he talks about her say, ';Poor thing'; a lot. Hint that you feel bad for her. (there's gotta be SOMETHING wrong with her!) Tell him she's gone to you for advice. Anything to make yourself more ';together';.





Meanwhile, complain to your husband about that old boyfriend who always contacts you, the hunk at the meat counter. Make him believe other men want you. If you show up at a place before him, flirt outrageously so that when he does walk in he sees men all over you!!





Compliment the men in his circle.





I know one couple who moved!! If that's not an option, perhaps a very long vacation.
I'm completely sure I read about this same question over a year ago or so? Are you a troll? I'm telling you 'cause you are telling the same story someone posted last year. Even the part when he mentioned to his friends that he might get a divorce when he was drunk. How weird. ..
try to talk with him openly about it