My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years. We will most likely get married soon and are so incredibly happy together. There is really only one thing that drives me insane and it is his mom and sister. His sister has never given me a chance since day one - She suddenly ';became'; best friends with his ex girl friend, which has caused a lot of arguments with me and my boyfriend. She has done very malicious things to me, has made me cry, never says hello to me, asks how my job is, my sick grandma, or anything about my life. Then, out of no where on other days when SHE is in a good mood, she becomes ultra sweet to me (this isn't usual). His mother is beyond obsessed with the sister, thinking there is nothing wrong with the way she acts or the fact that she brings his ex around, to their home and around their family. It has been building up inside of me and I am afraid I am going to snap one of these days. I still continue to try to go out of way to be-friend her, and just when I think I am making progress she does something new to get to me (ex- I asked her to go out for a drink the other night, she said maybe and then just left the house without telling me, to meet up with other people). My fam and friends tells me to ignore it, but that is easier said than done. And when my boyfriend tries to talk to her about it, she WALKS AWAY from him. She has no heart, and I think she thrives on being mean to me. I have no idea what to do, and I heard this only gets worse with marriage. Is there any hope for me???How do I deal with my boyfriend's horribly mean sister and his mother who feeds into her?
kinda been there, but a little less dramatic. my boyfriends(2yrs) little sister just would make comments about how she wants him to buy her this or that and would say your brother cant afford that n she would come back with ';well if he can buy u those shoes he can buy me some'; and tell him that her friends thought he was cute every now and then, and I once caught her telling him that it wasn't right that I was going out and how he should do something about it when i was leaving but forgot my keys. (we were arguing prior to that n i was going to my cousins, she had no idea what was going on which made me angry) she knew i had heard and said nothing. her mom picked her up that same night and she tried to play the victim telling everyone i was ';trying to get crazy';. i later told her that i didnt appreciate her telling him to ';check me'; especially in my own home and explained he was a grown man and didnt need advice from a 17 year old, and that she should stop trying to hook up her slutty friends with him, theres a reason why he never bothered w/them b4, and she should respect OUR relationship and should realize that its very serious (im the only girl his familys ever met), stay out of our well stay out of hers.
B4 that talk i explained how i was done being friendly w/her and how i was just going to ignore her from then on, and if there were any ugly faces given i would let him know right away, and i wasnt going to be bullied by no one. then i started worrying about how his whole family would react and was afraid of them talking trash about me to him. He told me not to worry hell defend me and explain how i never was in the wrong and has my back 100%. which made me feel so much better. but now all is well.
So tell you bf to help out more, and just ignore that girl and if the family has a problem talked to them about how u feel ( you should be able to..5 YRS ...helllloooo) and let that girl know that she needs to stop trying to mess with relationship....its been 5 years now and your not going anywhere, and his ex is not going to influence him theres a reason shes an ex. and tell your bf to ignore his ex thats its a matter of respect for you not jealousy. defend yourself hunny...my dad always told me......no one repects someone who kisses your ***How do I deal with my boyfriend's horribly mean sister and his mother who feeds into her?
Ignore them and act cofident no matter what. Guys hate when girls act catty, and any guy that doesn't is just a douche anyways. lol
http://motherinlawhell.com/category/advi鈥?/a>
Good venting forum
I don't understand why the relationship you have with your boyfriend is based, in part, on the relationship you WANT TO HAVE with his sister? There is absolutely NO reason on earth that his sister's friendship with your boyfriend's ex should cause arguments between you and your boyfriend.
You seem to let other people control your emotions and push your buttons. And, in the meantime, you're hoping his sister will be the way YOU want her to be. Well, she's never going to be like you want her to be, so just accept her at face value.
Stop worrying about what his sister does, and live your own life. Every time you react to her antics, you are giving her fuel to continue trying to annoy you.
It's EASY to ignore people like her, when we realize they are bored with their lives and like to stir SH*T. And that's what the little sister is, a sh*t-stirrer. Don't react, don't let her get your goat. She's controlling your feelings.
No there's no hope for you until you set some limits in your own mind.
Ok hun Yes there is hope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been there several times because I just do not have a thing with parents but it always ended up working out First thing is If you and the mom and sister do not get along that causes between you and him so to make that situation better then worse don't talk about it to him because it only frustrates him more because family always comes #1 and you guys love each other so you dont want to lose him and let them win so be the better person in the situation and try not to bring it up at all.
If they do not like you over the house then respect that for a while and give it time for them to relize that there brother/son is truely happy with you and if they care that much then thats all that should matter to them is that he is happy and they will accept you.
I think you should bring it up after a few weeks of not bringing anything of it up is tell him babe listen this thing with your mom and your sister means nothing to me yes it hurts but all that matters to me is you are happy Yes it does hurt me that they do not like me but I would do anything to change that for you because it is stressful for you and I know that and thats not what I want for you.
Another option is to write his mom/sister a letter/make them dinner/go out to dinner on you make sure you dont talk to much hear what they have to say what they want for him and tell them from from the heart that you understand and that you want things to be normal and you are willing to do anything to do that Make sure it is done on a good day lol. Tell them just to give you a chance your not going to take him away from them. I love him and he loves me and you will not go any further without her approvel because you respect her no matter what the situation is. You will always be there boyfriend, or friend whatever the situation is your always going to be there for him because you love him and they should be happy that he is happy and thats what parents want for there children and once his mom sees that, then his sister will
The ex girlfriend dont worry he loves you.... there is noithing his sister can say to stop him from loving you so work with the mother first Just speak from the heart I do not know her personally so I do not know if you should take her out to eat,email , write a letter whatever you need to do to get her alone but no drinks unless she orders it first Do not let that be the only thing you talk about talk about things in there life something wonderful or great she did boost her head up but not too much and also dont forget at the end bring when everything is cool you 2 will be laughing together That you dont understand that her brother is happy and I am happy isnt that what she wants for him And then say Im not going to worry about it anymore I know we love each other and that is what matters I just need you to accept the fact that we are in love andit is making us both so depressed that you are not happy with me. I just want you to understand that if you approve the fact that your son and I are soo happy and in love and he loves you just as much and doesnt want to lose either of us it will only hurt him more so anyways really think about it withput his sister putting things in your head I wouyld rather spend more days like this with you so you can see for yourself how I am I do not care if he is here or not I care about you and will do nothing to stop I just want You and I to have our days we can spend togther so you see for yourself instead of his sister who is friends with his sister common sense the sister is trying to get them back together which is wrong of both the girls because he shouldnt be with a girl that would do this to a relashionship (you and him) that is a not good person he shluld be with reguardless if I was here or not I want the best for him and it is truely killing him that this is happening just hear me out and not pay attention to his sister because she is starting trouble by breaking a relashionship up to begin with She will see I promise you it might take time but take it slow and do not be to pushy print this page out and put a letter together hunny
No comments:
Post a Comment