It has been almost two years since I parted ways with my ex gf... still to this day I miss her. She wasn't the first girl I ever loved but I loved her more than any girl that I ever have been in love with. It was sudden and hard to accept. We don't speak ever.. she's moved on and I have had one other relationship but nothing substantial. I am now stuck in a rut... I feel i've lost my confidence and I try to find a new gf but when I try I can't think of anything to say.. I feel like im ready to date and have been for a while but I just can't seem to get back to it ... what to do?How do you get over someone you truly loved?
You have to move on you have to. The best way to do this is to focus on things that you enjoy doing and most of all girls. Find a new girl put yourself out there. You need to go on dates and get your mind off her. Dont try to compare the way you felt about her to the way you feel about a new girl youve just met. Approach a pretty girl with an unbiased opinion and get to know her. Things will work out I promise you my friend.How do you get over someone you truly loved?
Get back into dating. Time heals all wounds. Move on.
who are we to judge what truely love is.. they all talk about physical atraction anmd love but im a crazy guy for a short period of time i really loved the women i were physically atracted.. and mi n a wider sense you could say i love all pretty women... i know i just dont know the meaning of the words and the parameters of the english language but i just wanted to make a stupid incorrect point
I think you need to think about things. She has moved on, you had another relationship, its been two years....You need to move on, to be honest. If there is no chance of you guys getting back together, then you really need to find someone else. And who knows, this someone else could be a hundred times better. I know thats hard to hear, but it's true. Things happen for a reason. It just sucks right now, but it will get better.
I'm the sort of girl who believes in fate..
That is, the minute you're truly ready to love someone else wholeheartedly and completely is the minute you'll meet the girl you're ready for.
Life's a journey. It's not the destination that matters. Opportunities will start to spring up once you've healed! There may be some kind of emotional block here. Maybe you still love her and those feelings are surpressed in your wanting to get over her?
Anyway, the point is that once you're ready, you're ready. And whatever you do, you can't force it.
Good luck!
Hi mate,
The question its not about whether your able to get over love or perhaps forgetting one. Cause that is love. Love its something that time can't define. Its about whether your able to accept that she's gone and letting her go.
Basically its a subconscious innate desire of holding onto something or someone that you have lost.
In order to overcome the innate desire of your conscious, you'll first have to understand why your relationship has ended, accepting it, and giving her your blessing. Loving her is for her to be happy. By any means if it should be. Give her your blessing and work from within yourself. There's a huge part of you that is refusing to let go.
Cheers mates,
T
It's totally normal to feel like this, I know it's the worst feeling in the world! If she hasn't had any major relationship either, then chances are she's feeling the same way.. I'm not suggesting you get back together with her, I'm just trying to help you understand that you're dealing with it perfectly normally and lots of people find it hard to get over meaningful relationships.
It's certainly a knock to your confidence when a relationship ends, whether you ended it or vice versa- Either way, something you thought was going well, stopped working for some reason, and it definitely knocks peoples' confidence. But you can get it back, and better than ever if you really want to.. and here's how.
1) Get rid of reminders. If you've still got photos of her around, anything that could bring back feelings- get rid of them.
2) Deal with the emotions. Give every emotion its time. If you're feeling mad, then be mad, if you're feeling lonely and sad, let yourself cry. Give them their time, but don't hold on to them. When you're fed up of feeling that way, you've got the control to stop. You'll feel better, happier, and ready to move on to the next step.
3) One of the hardest things about getting over someone is having all that extra time that used to be filled with spending time with her. So use the time and energy and put it into something else, something that will give you something back, for example family, friends, work, a hobby or interest, maybe you could start a new hobby... Something that will make you feel good about yourself when you see the benefits.
4) So you've got your head cleared of all those bad feelings (maybe there are a few left, but you're working on them) and you're feeling good about the new things you're accomplishing! It's time to get back on track. Instead of going and looking for love, let it find you. Go out with your friends and have a good time.. maybe you'll meet someone when you're out, maybe not- but you wont feel rejected because you weren't looking, and you had a good night with your friends anyway. Maybe you'll meet someone at a new exercise class or a new hobby.. Who knows? The point is you'll be feeling better about yourself, and you'll have your confidence back. Good luck! :)
You are going to hate this answer, but you won't. I was in a very committed relationship with a woman when out of the blue, she left me. Not to bog things down with the details, but it was hard. It has been almost five years now, and I am with someone new, we live together, and everything is fantastic, but I still think about the woman I was with every now and again.
When I felt like I was ready to get back in the saddle, I started slow. I would talk to a woman I thought was attractive, but I would keep it friendly, really all I wanted to know was if I could attract a woman still. Once I felt confident enough to try to take things a little further. I asked a girl I knew out on a date. She knew I had feelings for her, and we had been friends for a little while, and my only intent for the date was for her to ';rate'; my performance on the date. I just wanted her to let me know how I did, if I brought up the ex too much, or if there was anything I might want to work on. For me, this stage was key. It gave me the confidence I needed to know that woman still found me attractive and that I still had things to offer someone. It really did change things for me.
I think the ';test date'; stage is key when trying to get back in the game. Even if you don't have a female friend that you could take out, you can do it with someone you just met. Just don't go into it with the mindset that you are building a life long relationship. Also, if you go out with a person you don't know, don't tell them what you just want a rating. You can always find a way to weasel it into the conversation eloquently at some point.
You are never going to get over her if you truly loved her, thats just the great thing about love.
you need to move away,far away to another state to really put the past behind you,it sucks when a woman that you truly loved doesnt give you that 2nd chance to show her that you can be everything she ever dreamed of and that you are commited to being that person she originally fell in love with--it tears your insides out everyday-when women do evil sht suddenly that are so not like them and they just move on like you never existed and/or like you never meant sht to them-it blows your world to pieces--women are fckd up like that especially singe moms who shut out the REAL TRUE LOVING FATHERS and think its perfectly ok--
I understand where you are coming from.
It is hard.
Regaining confidence can be difficult, when you don't know how to do it.
And finding a girlfriend is darn near impossible when you feel like that.
So how do you break out of that?
I'm going to reveal a secret to you that I discovered on my own.
It's actually really easy to do.
It worked REALLY well for me the first time I did it, and it has worked for everyone I've taught it to, too.
1.) Start of in a safe, comfortable place, like at home. This first part is easiest done alone with no distractions.
No distractions, no fear of embarrassment.
2). Ask yourself this simple question: If I did feel confident, how would that feel? Perhaps remember a time when you did feel confident with women and re-experience that feeling of confidence.
Feel that confidence in you BODY.
Find that state and FEEL it.
3.) Is there anything else you would need to add to that? Maybe a feeling of being relaxed, comfortable, etc?
Add that/those feelings in with that feeling of confidence.
4.) Walk around where ever you happen to be, whether it's at home or where ever. Just hold that feeling as you do your daily things in a relaxed, zero pressure environment.
(this might takes all of 5-10 minutes so far).
5) Once you find you can hold that state, go out and do what you would normally do.
Go to the mall, gas station, grocery store, where ever, what ever.
There's no pressure here. Just be confident and do what you would normally do, for now.
We just want to ingrain the habit and the feeling, and all you have to do now, once you've noticed how it feels, is just remember how it feels to feel confident.
6). Just notice how people (women!) notice you more and treat you 'differently' while you hold those feelings of confidence, and all your doing is doing your own thing.
When I did this process for myself, what happened to me is conversations with people just accidentally happened. I didn't go out with the intention of talking to people, just to go around feeling confidence for myself while I did my normal routines, every where I went.
People did treat me differently, and I did get noticed a LOT more.
Do that for a week or two and you probably won't even have to think about it anymore, it'll sort of just happen on it's own, because it'll feel good.
That's when the magic happens.
Once you become confident in being confident, things just happen in many areas of your life.
I even got a new job because of it, out of the blue. Some one called ME.
Go out and start having fun with people, in what ever way feels comfortable for you. I personally like to push the boundaries just little every once in a while, which furthers my own confidence.
Once you have conscious access to feeling confident, it is something you will ALWAYS be able to do, on purpose. Relying on someone else (i.e. girlfriend), is NOT a productive method, nor is it attractive.
Women LOVE men who are confident in themselves.
Have fun!
P.S. There is much more you can do, but this is a REAL GOOD start, when you actually do it!
Without confidence, pretty much nothing else will work consistently.
No comments:
Post a Comment